Heart to Heart

IMG_7853I can’t believe it’s the second to last day of February; normally I’m finding any way to slow time down because it seems like months pass in the blink of an eye…but this month has been different. So different. I typically keep things light and positive on my blog, I’m a glass half full kinda girl and love to share things that are uplifting and make me smile. Having said that, I’m all for not sugar coating things, for being open and sharing personal thoughts and struggles, although it’s not something I often share on A Dash of Dior. However, today is one of those days, and this post will most likely be unlike any of those you’ve read in the past on my blog.

February has been the most emotionally draining month I’ve experienced, it’s been a roller coaster which has left me feeling permanently frazzled. It all began during the last week of January when I suddenly became quite sick, I was in and out of the doctor, and visited the ER three times in the span of five days. After blood tests, ultrasounds and an emergency contrast CT scan, the doctors were able to give me a diagnosis. I was immediately placed on a high dosage of medication, which I’m told I’ll need to take for the next 5 months. Although the doctors were able to diagnose me, they have no idea why it happened in the first place…which is the scariest part. For the first couple of weeks, it felt like my world had been turned upside down. My work schedule has been nothing short of messed up, most days I can’t even make it through a full day and I’ve spent more days home from work this month than I’ve ever spent. If things weren’t already difficult, I suffered a complication this week which meant more blood work and tests to try to figure out the latest cause; I’m still waiting on all the results but I’m trying to channel any remaining positive energy. Needless to say I’m looking forward to saying goodbye to February; time has moved so slowly, each day has felt like a week. I’ve already got my sights set on March and I’m excited to start a new, fresh month that will hopefully be a bit smoother than the last – besides it’s the first month of Spring, so it has to be good right?

I’ve never taken my health for granted and have always eaten healthy and taken care of myself so I feel blindsided by this entire situation. In a strange way, I almost feel like my body’s let me down, like it’s betrayed me (I know that sounds a bit crazy). It’s been a challenge having all these emotions swirling around inside my head, but I’m glad I haven’t had to face them alone; I’m thankful to have such a loving husband and close friends who’ve been absolute gems through this entire situation and I couldn’t have made it through this month without the continued support of my parents either. When everything around me seems out of my control, my blog brings me a little stability and joy; I love having my tiny corner of the internet and I’m looking forward to keeping up with posts as best I can. There may be a few times when it’s a little quiet around here but I hope those breaks are short (if any)! With that being said, I’m officially saying goodbye to February. Looking forward to seeing you all in March!

Much love,
jen xo

Comments

    • Jen says

      Oh Emily, thank you for the amazing words of encouragement, they mean so much to me! I’m almost in disbelief that this month is finally coming to an end, it’s been so challenging, both emotionally and physically. I’m looking forward to Sunday when it’s officially March and I can start to channel some positive vibes and hope things start looking up! Thanks love xo

    • Jen says

      Awww thank you Jess, I’ll take any positive vibes you send my way! The last month has been challenging and I want nothing more than for things to just start returning to normal. I’m taking it one day at a time and hoping things can get sorted out soon. Thanks for all the love, you’re the best! xo

  1. says

    Jen, I hope you feel better and get well soon. Sometimes when I see posts like these on blogs I assume “oh just a bit of a hurdle” but the moment I read that this was health related, I knew it was serious. So…only good vibes and karma from both my sister and I! Feel better :)

    • Jen says

      Miranda and Mackenzie, thank you for your sweet words! I often see posts like this too, and lets face it we all need to take mental breaks from blogging and that’s usually all there is to it. I really wish that was the case for me but sadly it’s not. Your sweet words and positive vibes are so appreciated! xo

  2. Reilley West says

    I’m so sorry! Hope you gets better soon. Stay strong and as hard as it is some times, always try to see the positive in life. Xo

    • Jen says

      Thank you Reiley, you’re so kind to write me such a lovely note! I’ve been working extra hard on staying positive these days and channelling my energy into doing the things I love that make me happy! Hoping this all gets cleared up soon! xx

    • Jen says

      It’s definitely been a roller coaster of emotions which has been stressful to say the least Yi-chia. March was much better than February (thankfully) so I’m hoping that trend continues over the next couple of months. I hope you and Hannah are doing wonderful! xo

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